A few sisters I know have recently become new mothers and a few will enter that world very soon.
It takes me back to the time I became a new mother – it was so new and I literally was thrown into unknown turbulent waters.
I recently reopened my homeschooling blog that I began back in 2007 when my eldest was 2.5 years old. A few days ago, she looked at me and said ‘Ummi, I’ve finished reading every single blog post you wrote about me…about us.’ I can’t remember half of those blog posts. She looked like she was in deep thought about what she had discovered about her younger years, of which she only has vague memories.
I too was in deep thought and my own thoughts took me to a notion that I know well. As an NLP Trainer, I know that though she cannot remember the details of her childhood, those very details have been stored inside her mind and have become the filters that shape her every day experience today. Lost in my own thoughts, I was taken to the recent discussions with my ‘new mother’ sisters.
A few of them asked me for advice and without thinking, it as though the truth had to escape my lips.
‘Love them unconditionally’ I said.
A mother will:
- be so tired and so love them.
- experience disappointment from her children and so love them.
- be hurt and angered and so love them.
- become a referee between her children and so love them.
- have her mental, physical, and emotional energy drained and so love them.
- sacrifice her food, sleep, and sometimes her dreams and so love them.
Love them, love them, and love them some more. How? Through action. And continue loving them until the Beloved takes your soul.
Loving your children unconditionally through action will most likely not be remembered by them in detail. However, those details will be stored in their unconscious mind, forever acting as a major filter for the experiences of their present and their future; the way they feel, the decisions they make, their choices, and their behaviour…filtered by the love they experienced.
Your unconditional love will be a game changer in how they deal with life.
Love them unconditionally – it is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. When their life is infused with love, that will become one of the primary things that they know. When they know and experience love unconditionally, they too will be able to love – creatures, people, and most importantly Allah azza wa jaal Himself. As I mentioned in a previous post, if love is not in their unconscious library – then how will they ever be able to love, receive love willingly or experience the beautiful intimate relationship of love with the Lord of the Worlds.
Gift your child with the experience and knowledge of love. For the sake of Allah…love them.